By Allison Stoutland, M.S. ’88, 6th Yr. ’91
A FEW MONTHS AGO, my husband was asked to speak at Southern Connecticut State University, and since we are both graduates, I was more than happy to tag along. He spent eight years of his life there as a student, football player, teacher, and football coach. I spent six years in night and summer classes earning a master’s degree in reading and a sixth year in administration to bolster my professional goals. In addition, I called the neighboring town of Hamden my home for more than 20 years, so this trip was bound to be filled with nostalgia.
As we eagerly merged onto the racetrack known as the Merritt Parkway, our memories came fast and furiously too. Thirty-three years have passed, and things have certainly changed — or was it just our perspective? The former West Rock Tunnel seemed shorter. The dreaded steep hill on my paper route seemed surprisingly unimpressive, as was our favorite pizza. I was shocked to realize my daily walk to high school was legitimately two miles from my childhood home, and yes, I sometimes walked in snow past my knees! I was saddened I hadn’t noticed how beautiful my high school was until now. But even she pales in comparison to what was around the corner.
I could see my childhood home, but my focus was on my front yard. And there she was, always there: our magnolia tree. She’d grown so much taller since my last visit, but still exuded her peaceful, calming presence.
I remember climbing her lowest branch and lying on my back, looking into her complicated, intertwined limbs. If she could be so magnificent amongst that confusion surely I could, too.
So, I shared my life dreams with her: to become a teacher, write a book, and one day open a school. I would marry a great guy and have children. I would live, teach, and be near my family and friends for the rest of my life. We would all go out together on weekends, and our children would be best friends. I wonder, did she know what was in store for me but still let me dream?
Those initial 20 years set me up with lifelong friends, a safe place to grow up, and a solid public education. I earned a college degree in education and landed a kindergarten teaching job in the New Haven Public School District. I poured my heart and soul into those students. They were my everything — until I met my husband.
He was personable, nice on the eyes, and easy to talk to. But when he said he was a football coach, I wondered: What kind of person chooses that? He does, that’s who. Turns out it’s not only a very real career but also a very demanding one — and he seems to excel at it.
Within six months of meeting, he proposed in front of my kindergarten students. We married one year later. Six months into married life, he was offered a great job, and he moved within a few weeks’ time. I stayed behind to “close up shop” and finish what was to be my last year as a teacher, ever.
And that was the way life went for us. Thirty-three years filled with 11 homes, three family dogs, two children, one daughter-in-law, six states, and seven football teams. In order of life: Southern Connecticut State University, Cornell University, Syracuse University, Michigan State University, University of Miami, University of Alabama, and Philadelphia Eagles. Phew!
In February, the Stoutland family celebrated at the Philadelphia Eagles Super Bowl LIX Parade.
I know it appears super exciting, especially if you factor in winning two National Championships and two Super Bowls. However, those high-highs were mixed in with low-lows, as life does. Moving from state to state is emotionally challenging. Saying goodbye to neighborhoods, friends, classmates, and each house we made our home is heartbreaking. Watching our then-young children start at new schools was overwhelming and riddled with anxiety. Placing my career on hold — one I was born to do — was soul crushing.
Life’s journey is a mystery. And, as I child, I had no idea what lay ahead for me as I balanced my body and dreams on that magnolia branch. But I’ve managed to check off so many boxes: teacher, wife, mother, best friend, and yes, even author.
Hindsight allows me to be grateful for all those moves. Not only were my precious childhood friendships maintained, but I also collected new, wonderful friends with each move. And though my heart broke when I stopped teaching, it offered me time to focus on my writing which, in turn, gets me back into schools for author visits.
So, as Jeff and I drove onto campus, we smiled to see Southern had matured too, just like us. It had grown up by leaps and bounds. It thrived in the face of adversity. There were new buildings everywhere, wings added, and the campus was stunning. Even the first scoreboard I used to look to for reassurance back in my younger days was hardly recognizable. I imagine it was thinking the very same thing about us. ■
A LITTLE THING YOU SHOULD KNOW: I am now a four-time published children’s author currently working on an adult novel. Here is my website in case you are curious: www.inchbyinchbooks.com
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